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25 September 2008 @ 10:56 pm
Sex On Bubble Wrap  
Author : slashxyouxup aka heathermouth
Pairing: Frank&Gerard
Rating: R
Summary : Frank’s always been full of crazy ideas.
Disclaimer: Writers lie – just like your parents.
Warnings: Frank and his crazy(?) ideas.

This ones for my not so secret sexonbubblewrap lover killerxshark because she makes me fangirlsquee. All Night. Ho yes.

Sex on Bubble Wrap

Frank’s always been full of crazy ideas. Just those little things that niggle away at the back of your brain for a day or so and then die out, burn out when you lose the energy or will (or both) to care anymore. For Frank, there is no burning out, there’s no forgetting and there’s most definitely no lack of energy.

It starts when they’re packing. They’re finally, fucking finally, moving in to their own place. Frank had been up for it long ago, but Gerard had been a little harder to convince. Frank never gives up though, ever, and finally he wears Gerard down and finds the most perfect three bedroom house with the biggest mother fucking back yard Frank’s ever seen in his life – and Gerard can’t not say yes. So he folds, like a piece of fucking origami. Frank’s proud of his own persistence; it only took him two years.

They’re at Gerard’s old place, packing many delicate things away in to divided sections of large cardboard boxes, not before wrapping them in several layers of tissue and bubble wrap, topped off with elastic bands. They’ve been doing this for around two hours, and the end is not yet in sight because ‘Jesus Christ Gerard, you have a lot of shit’

Gerard grins as he picks up the figure of a porcelain violinist and makes a grab for the roll of bubble wrap which lies between them.

“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” he states simply, handling the small figure with delicacy and ease.

“You and your philosophical bull,” Frank grumbles, arching his back until he hears a satisfying crack. “I’ve been on my knees for hours,” he complains, and Gerard smirks smugly, trying not to snort a laugh. Frank narrows his eyes, “Oh fuck you,” before rocking himself back until he tumbles on to his ass.

The sound of ass-on-floor thud is muffled by several popping noises and Frank twists and glances down to the thin sheet of bubble wrap he’s currently sat on. He raises his eyebrow, amused, and makes a huh sort of sound to himself. Then, with a mischievous grin he twists back round again.

He leans slightly to the left,

pop, pop, pop.

And then slightly to the right,

pop, pop, pop.

He leans forward a little,

pop, pop.

And then back upright,

pop, pop.

He thrusts forward quickly,


And then again,


He giggles.

Gerard looks over from what he’s currently doing and gives Frank a strange and obscure look, a look he should really be used to giving Frank by now.

“How old are you?” Is all he has to say on the matter. Frank looks over to him and grins.

“We should totally fuck on this.” Gerard laughs. “I’m serious.”

“You’re strangely perverted Frank Iero,” Gerard comments, “and demented if you think I’m ever going to agree to that.”

Frank narrows his eyes and points a finger at his boyfriend, “I’ll get you Gerard Way, and your little figurines too.”

Gerard laughs it off.

Frank drops it, or so Gerard thinks, and it’s not mentioned again until a whole two weeks later.

Everything’s finally unpacked in their new place, and they finally have time to finally enjoy it - finally. Its 9:30pm and Gerard’s tired, shattered actually, and despite the ‘old man’ taunts he knows he’s going to receive from Frank he decides to call it a night. There’s a barely read Kelly Armstrong novel and a cup of warm cocoa waiting for him and right now, nothing sounds as good.

He leaves Frank, who’s off doing Frank like things, to change in to his new pj’s. New house, new pj’s – he’s sure that’s a law somewhere. He looks at the freshly made bed with a mixture of lust and desire, curling his toes in to the clean fluffy carpet before padding across it and over to his prize.

When he pulls back the covers and slips inside, something’s not quite right.

pop, pop.

He shifts around a little, confused; pop, pop, pop, before finally – it hits him like a pimp slap in the face.


He can hear Frank’s bare feet shuffling across the wooden flooring in the hall just outside their room. He’s not in a hurry, he never is when Gerard uses that tone. He enters the room with a sheepish smile on his face.

“Yes dear?”

“Don’t you fucking yes dear me,” Gerard glares, throwing back the covers to reveal the several layers of bubble wrap lining the top of the mattress. Frank merely grins. “What the hell is this shit?”

“SURPRISE!” Gerard looks at Frank like he’s on crack, or something close to that. “Happy Sex On Bubble Wrap Day!”

What? Have you gone completely insane?”

Frank ponders that question for a moment, before finally deciding, “Nope.” And, with that mischievous grin that lets Gerard know he’s in trouble now, Frank leaps on to the bed, giggling along with his bounds and pops until he’s straddling Gerard’s legs.

“Frank,” Gerard whines, and not in the good way. “Come on,” he huffs but Frank pays no attention to his words, only to his neck as he gently starts to nibble.

“Please Gee,” he whines and yes, it’s in the good way. “Please.”

Gerard can’t help but shudder because now Frank’s begging.

“Frank-” he’s cut off by the sharp prick of teeth against his flesh and he gasps. Frank sucks on the skin as he drags his nails across the top of Gerard’s abdomen.

Oh, he’s playing dirty now.

Frank pulls away from Gerard’s neck to look straight at him and pout. Fucking pout.

Gerard sighs, “Fine, fine! But if this shit imprints on my skin then you can explain to everyone why it looks like I’ve had sex with an octopus.”

Frank squeals and claps, mumbling a quick, “Love you Gee,” before he lunges forward.

Being on the brink of orgasm and tears from hysterical laughter is probably a feeling close to being on cocaine, Gerard thinks, though as Frank grips at the surface below him (pop, pop, pop), whining and arching his back as he gasps Gerard’s name through a sweat matted fringe – the orgasm definitely overrides.

Turns out that sex on bubble wrap isn’t such a crazy idea after all.
deadcatgirl14deadcatgirl14 on September 25th, 2008 10:33 pm (UTC)
thats cute :) I liked it!
deadcatgirl14deadcatgirl14 on September 25th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)
oh FC! I stole its virginity!
(no subject) - heathermouth on September 25th, 2008 10:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - heathermouth on September 25th, 2008 10:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
And we'll savor every moment of thissquoze_so_hard on September 25th, 2008 10:36 pm (UTC)
I love your stories :) That was SO GREAT!

ficheathermouth on September 25th, 2008 10:38 pm (UTC)
daw *_* thank yous
(Deleted comment)
ficheathermouth on September 25th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
^_^ glad you think so
paraphernaelia on September 25th, 2008 11:02 pm (UTC)
This was so hilarious. Especially when Gerard went to bed, assuming that he would get a good night's sleep and then there's bubblewrap and he 'looks at Frank like he's on crack'

I loved this so much, rofl. *adds to mems*
ficheathermouth on September 25th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
thank you muchly :DD
Natascha: hobokenxanax_n_wine on September 25th, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
pop. pop
It was so amazingly cute! and gave me ideas. oh, i have problems.
It's saved on my memories. :D
ficheathermouth on September 25th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
*blush* thank you! And lol, I know right?
.: [music] mcr - frank & gerardjealousmess on September 25th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
I loved it.
I'll never look bubble wrap in the same way again, oh yeah.
This was amazing.
mem'ing :D
ficheathermouth on September 25th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
heh, bubble wrap brings out the sexual beast in me
Thanks ;)
Ashleyheart_4_heart on September 25th, 2008 11:11 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Awwww. That was so cute! I love it. XD ♥
ficheathermouth on September 25th, 2008 11:12 pm (UTC)
thanks :)
(no subject) - heart_4_heart on September 25th, 2008 11:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - heathermouth on September 25th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Hotshot Robot: Brian lolxceciliastarr on September 25th, 2008 11:35 pm (UTC)
Wow, I don't think I've ever laughed that hard in my life O.o

Me likes! :D
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:02 pm (UTC)
hee ~ glad i could provide the entertainment
defiant2theenddefiant2theend on September 25th, 2008 11:37 pm (UTC)
Okay, this totally wins. Like, yeah. Totally. I'm obsessed with bubble wrap. I work in the mail industry, and have rolls like huge taller than me (I'm 5'8)spools of it on the loading dock. I pop it all day when I get bored. I even have some of the security guards doing it to. Totally made my day!!!
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
I wish i had that much bubble wrap :(
thanks for reading :)
Sam.: frank // adorable.keepthevanity on September 25th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)

Seriously, your like some mad genius fic writer person, totally. Because like, sex on bubble wrap.

This is the most amazing thing eveeer, I just love it. And really, bubble wrap will never be the same.

Also, great job. =)

ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
lol, mad genius? i could live with that
thanks for reading :)
luv_tefurrawredluv_tefurrawred on September 26th, 2008 01:30 am (UTC)
oh gawd, that made me giggle like a retard XD
"Yes dear?"
"Don't you fucking yes dear me!"
Just like an old married couple.
How do you do it?
luv_tefurrawredluv_tefurrawred on September 26th, 2008 01:32 am (UTC)
ha, forgot to say, I'm deffinatley putting this in mem's... like i deffinatley don't put everything else you write in there ><
(no subject) - heathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - heathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
thanks for reading :)
lost_abandon on September 26th, 2008 02:19 am (UTC)

wow. that was shweeet.
bubble wrap now holds a special place in my heart...
this was hilarious. <3
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
mine too ♥
thanks for reading :)
blackeyedwicca on September 26th, 2008 02:32 am (UTC)

Oh god that last para killed me. I seriously just cracked up laughing.

So good.
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
thank yoooooooooooooooooooooooooou my sweet
thanks for reading :)
(no subject) - blackeyedwicca on September 28th, 2008 06:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
killerxshark on September 26th, 2008 03:32 am (UTC)
explain to everyone why it looks like I’ve had sex with an octopus

I .

*lays bubble wrap out on own bed*

ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
and they loves you too! ^_^

is that an invertation?...
(no subject) - killerxshark on September 28th, 2008 01:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
awful_fallawful_fall on September 26th, 2008 08:25 am (UTC)
pop, pop, pop
Damn.. I really want to get some bubble wrap now! :3

I LOVED THIS! It was hilarious and cute at the same time, and just over-all awesome. And the idea for this is genius!


ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
^_^ thanks for reading :)
ivane marieeveseventy6 on September 26th, 2008 03:40 pm (UTC)
oh how i love frankie's crazy ass ideas ;)
loved this. hilarious and so cute!
this'll def come to mind every time i see bubble wrap from now on lol
<3 xxxxx
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
i sure do love 'em too
thanks for reading :)
xcorepumpkin on September 26th, 2008 07:32 pm (UTC)
fuck that was gooood.
and an amazing new way to have sex.
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
very amazing, i'm sure there's plenty more ;)
thanks for reading :)
to_be_emptyto_be_empty on September 26th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
I was just popping some bubble wrap a few days ago. (Yes. I have bubble wrap stocks in my room and I pop them whenever I get the cravings. I'm addicted.) But using my fingers, unfortunately. That's... I mean, this is a whole lot better =) I'd like to try that sometime, hehee. How did you come up with this anyway?

Frank is such an adorable, sexy lunatic, how could Gerard turn him down? I love Gerard's old man-ness and Frank's hyper-ness in this =)

“Happy Sex On Bubble Wrap Day!” xD


ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
i dont think anyone could turn down that face. thanks for reading :)
unoffical boy wonderconcretecutouts on September 26th, 2008 09:14 pm (UTC)
I could never do that. I'd be laughing too damn hard :D
great story, I loved it! :3
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC)
lol, i know right? thanks for reading :)
blueautopsy on September 26th, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
wow my love that was hilarious.
frank is so naughty which is the reason
gerard loves him so much <3
really enjoyed this though xxx
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC)
tis the reason i love him also ;)
thanks for reading :)
Hello me, it's me again...: yeahbabeyekith on September 26th, 2008 10:16 pm (UTC)
This was highly amusing and you even managed to give me some great (and kinky) mental images without even saying much...
Oh yes me liked!
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC)
thanks for reading :)
Catherine: Frankie and Geealana2x1 on September 27th, 2008 12:19 am (UTC)
Oh yes! Perfect bedtime reading, Hev m'dear. That was brilliant! Witty and cute and yes, just great!

You know, everytime I walk past the bubblewrap at work now (I assume the stationary department has bubblewrap - it better had!) I will be giggling to myself and the cute guy that works in that section (I need to actually talk to him and find out his name!) will think I'm even more mental than he probably already does.

But yes, my ramble aside, twas great! I love anecdotes of them as an established couple. So cute! Bubblewrap sex is a great idea! Muwahaha :D
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:08 pm (UTC)
thank you m'love, so glad you enjoyed it. It was fun to write. waaay fun! Now post me some holiday romance damnit!

thanks for reading :)
Ro™: Frank | Teenagersxechelonx on September 27th, 2008 01:10 pm (UTC)
Gosh, I can so imagine Frank sitting on a sheet of bubble wrap giggling. And wahh... I simply loved it. You totally made my day. <3333 *adding to mems*
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:08 pm (UTC)
awwwh, i'm glad :) thanks for reading :)
I choose my own path,even if it leads me to Mordorx_missdarko_x on September 27th, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
Very nice to read! Too bad it was so short. Your characters were perfect.
Sweet fic, we need more of those :)
ficheathermouth on September 27th, 2008 11:09 pm (UTC)
I know, I thought it best to let people play it out in their heads, I didn't want to ruin such an awesome mental image. thanks for reading :)